 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JAMES: You ever been in love with someone you knew you couldn't have? WYATT: Of course... Who hasn't? JAMES: Well I mean, they wanted to be with you too, but they felt like they owed the rest of the world something, so they leave. WYATT: That's stupid. If they really wanted to be with you, don't you think they would try everything they could? JAMES: I know she does want to be with me, and she has tried everything. WYATT: Well in that case, maybe this is another one of those "everything happens for a reason" moments. JAMES: What kind of reason could there be to keep two people who care about eachother from being together? I mean why can't I be happy? Why isn't she with me? WYATT: So that someone else can be happy. [Excerpt from "The Skeleton Kids"] .... there's truth in everything nowadays. Tags: art, dialogue, life
Current Location: Dorm
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: The Kinks: Nothing in this World
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've bought cigarettes and started drinking recently. Be happy for me. It gives me something to do at 230 in the morning since I've hardly slept for the past week. I finally realized what was giving me all of those headaches. In return, the headaches are gone, but the lack of sleep is even greater. I think my roommate believes I'm going mad. She stays up almost as late as I do, however as she innocently looks over the mini-feed of her facebook, she'll give a quick glance over at me writing or typing away insanely. Around 1am when she caught me taping index cards up on my wall, she slowly takes off her headphones and asks, "Are you studying?" Not even looking at her, I respond, "Reviewing, sort of." In a way that's true. I had about 50 index cards of summaries of scenes from two films I have to write: "Seven Cities" and "Another Lost Expatriate". Both based on truth, or rather inspired by, however one is more of a fantasy than the other. I stare up at my wall full of scribbles on 3x5 index cards and I hate myself. The look upon my face is a mix between pure disgust and confusion. You would see the same look on my face if I was being turned away from Heaven, or the love of my life just gave me a cop-out explanation on why we "should just be friends." I need to throw all of these notes away, it's a lost cause, but I can't bring myself to do that again. I go for a walk, wave at all the smokers outside, and head over to the construction site near my dorm. They're going to finish this particular building a month after I graduate. Go figure. Story of my life. "Just missing" everything. God, I can't believe I've bought cigarettes and started drinking wine to fill the dark, sleepless void that has become my recent life. I blame the french films I've been watching. Truffaut, you bastard, why have you ruined my life? Tags: cabernet, cigarettes, film, index cards, truffaut
Current Location: Library
Current Mood:  drained
Current Music: Elliot Smith: Needle in the Hay
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've been having a lot of headaches recently. I suppose it's a combination of different factors why. Stress with school, losing weight, romance, all aids to the constant pounding inside my head. If you were to take a cartoon xray and put it up against my forehead, you would see a couple of the main scenes from Metropolis going on. I need relief. I can deal with the pain, that's not such a problem. What's worse is that these headaches are keeping me up at night, forcing me to think about things I would much rather put out of my head. I don't want to wonder "what if's", I don't want to care about other people... Most people will just watch infomercials if they can't go to sleep. Me? I attempt to survey and reevaluate my whole life............. He doesn't like The Royal Tenenbaums either, or rather doesn't have an appreciation for it. The appreciation is what really matters, he didn't have to like it. It figures, such is my luck. Do I stay, do I move on, do i take a chance, do i go against all that I hold dear to me? Whatever, I don't want to think about it. It's already going to keep me up later. Tags: headache, insomnia, stuff, the royal tenenbaums
Current Location: Dorm Desk
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: The Best of David Bowie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've been writing a lot recently. I don't have anything concrete yet, but right now I have this bulletin board on the back of my desk full of little index cards with descriptions of scenes for films I am hoping to write. One being Another Lost Expatriate, the second Seven Cities, and the other Fear of the Valley. Those are the 3 I have been the most hard pressed for recently. Everyday I carry around this fancy little journal with me to write down "clever or profound" things I hear people say. All of my fantasies seem to be taking up the place of school work, which probably isn't a good thing, but just this weekend I got another idea for a film that I can't stop thinking about. UGH! My mind is driving me insane. I need to become grounded. Work on trying to acheive that white picket fence. Not writing about fucked up families, hopeless relationships, and ironic situations. That's not real life is it? I wish it was.... Tags: film, ideas, life, ugh
Current Location: Back at good ol' school
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: The Ramones: Judy is a Punk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
soleendeavor's journal
Previous
artistic
energetic